...farewell to the best year of my life thus far...

This morning DG got up early and left long before I did.  A few minutes after he walked out the door I got this text message.  "I heart you very much. Thank you for the best year ever."  Yeah.  This is my life.

It seemed fitting that the last post of this blog land on the last day of the best year of my life.  It is long overdue, as usual, but I thought it'd be much more polite to actually provide some closure rather than letting this blog hang out here in cyberspace without a proper ending.  There are million things I wish I'd made the time to write about, but our wedding is long over, and my priorities have simply shifted away from planning a wedding to living out a marriage.

Beside the fact that the company I work for was nice enough to send everyone home a few hours early, today has been just like any other day.  Even so, the end of another year always seems like a natural opportunity for reflection.  Eight months ago tomorrow, I married my favorite person on the planet.  I suppose that was the highlight of the year...despite the rain.  But for me, 2010 was a lot more than getting married.  It held a million little moments that I wouldn't trade for a lifetime, the kind of moments that just knocked me down with the realization that I am blessed beyond what I ever could have dreamed.  It has been a good year, and 2011 is shaping up to be even better.  I wake up just about every day feeling like the luckiest girl in the world and I have no idea how I got here.  I am quite certain it is by no merit of my own.

So today I'm bringing our journey to a close.  For those of you who kept up with these ramblings, I hope you enjoyed our time together.  For those of you who may find them some day in the future, I hope something I've put down here may inspire your very own dream wedding in some small way.


Just thought I'd leave you with my last little wedding project.  Only took me seven months to get it done.  I designed and printed the photobook below using Blurb's BookSmart.  Made great Christmas gifts for family!

Racheal and David by Racheal Graham | Make Your Own Book

(All photos by Will Knowles Weddings)

Thanks for reading!!  Hope your ever after is as wonderful as mine.

Racheal

P.S.  If you just so happen to want to continue to keep up with me, you can find my singer/songwriter website at www.rachealgraham.com.

We also have some leftover wedding items for sale which you can find here if you are interested.

...wedding reception: our grand entrance...

And the World’s Worst Blogger Award goes to…

Eh, never mind all that.  Here’s the truth of the matter: Enough for Ever After has been sadly neglected as I’m busying myself with actually living the Ever After.  And I think it’s time to face facts.  I am not that girl who had a wedding and fell in love with having a wedding and would love to keep talking about her wedding.  Don’t get me wrong.  It was great.  I was proud of it.  We worked hard and it paid off because our wedding was A-list in my book and I loved every last detail.  That being said, by the time we got to our wedding I was sick of it and ready to put it away.  I am ready to put it away even now, but I still owe all of you patient readers the second half of the story.

So here’s the deal.  I’m going to do my darndest to push through the reception recaps, share all the helpful info that I can, and then I’m going to say goodbye.  I’ll leave this little blog hanging out here in Cyberland for a while in hopes that some of those ladies who will be planning future Nashville weddings, or any wedding for that matter, might find a little something that can help her along the way.  We’ve still got a ways to go, so don’t get all misty-eyed on me….but I just wanted you to know where this is headed.

Anyway, back to the reception….

Last you heard from me, DG and I had recorded that fantastic little video of us just being…well, us.  Our guests all parked in the Garage at the Curb Event Center, and we led them to one particular door.  Here’s how the transformation of our entrance to the reception took place.

This is really the only shot I have of the space before it was ready to go.  It's nothing more than a back hallway of white concrete block, but thanks to my lovely MOH, a drop ceiling, and some trusty binder clips, we draped it in black fabric and added some lighting to transform it into this...

We used strips of wide ribbon and clothes pins to organize the escort cards on the wall on the right where these...

became this...

Finally, this welcome area led our guests into a fabric tunnel, lit up with rope lights, which took them into the main reception area.

And cue the spotlight.  Here we our making our grand entrance....to the Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling.  Oh yes we did.  (The bridesmaids...and a little brother...insisted!)

         

Up next...how we built our reception venue from the ground up...quite literally.  Stay tuned!

Thanks to Will Knowles for these handsome photos.

...intro to our reception...

We've finally reached that point in our chronicle where we all happily pack up and move over to the reception!  Are you so excited??  I'm not going to lie, I am!  When it comes to the real hard work and creativity of our wedding, here is where the story really just begins.  We did crazy ambititious things that I totally would not recommend.  Ok, maybe I would.  The payoff was worth every minute spent slaving away.  I am hoping to do sort of a progression of each project from start to finish for you, so it will take a little work to get organized, but I think you'll appreciate seeing how we accomplished each task. 

In the meantime...this is one of my MOST FAVORITE aspects of our wedding.  Our good friend Luke over at Orange Thread Media, worked with us on a number of projects.  He designed and hosted our wedding website, put all the content together for the projectors at both our ceremony and reception, and produced this fantastic little video!!

I'll get to the aesthetics and set up of our little guest entrance to the reception next, but wanted to share this little tidbit first.  We wanted to find a way to help our guests transition from ceremony to reception.  While our ceremony was meant to be very meaningful and somewhat serious, our reception was designed to be really laid-back and lighthearted.  We needed a way to set the tone.  After DG and I did some brainstorming, we came up with this concept and Luke pulled it off FLAWLESSLY.  This video was looping in the guest entrance to welcome them into our reception.

Enjoy!!

A Fun Spin on a Wedding Video from Orange Thread Media on Vimeo.

P.S.  This is pretty much what everyday life is like in my house.  Jealous??

...best song about marriage ever...

I’ve been a little behind in blogging this week because our world sort of got turned upside down last Wednesday night when my new sister-in-law fell and broke her leg in two places.  Bless her heart, she’s a trooper.  We all rallied to make sure she was taken care of, and things are slowly returning back to normal….for the rest of us anyway. 

I have been impatiently waiting for my new Macbook to arrive, figuring I would want a thousand reasons to sit in front of it for hours when it finally arrived.  Little did I know, DG picked it up last night after work.  He randomly pulled it out of the closet after dinner.  I was so excited, I could hardly contain myself!

So this morning, anxious to put my pretty new iTouch to good use, I downloaded this album I had been wanting to purchase.  As a long time fan of Andrew Peterson, I knew to expect it to get to me.  He is a storyteller like none other, and I’ve never made it through an entire album of his without breaking down into tears.  It just happens that way.  Today was no exception.  I happily plugged my iPod into the car stereo on my way to work, and two tracks in, I was met with this song. 

It’s the kind of song you wish you’d written because it says everything you’ve been wanting to say but didn’t know how.  To some degree, I know it spoke to me so profoundly because of my situation.  And here’s the moment of honesty….I was prepared for nothing other than sheer bliss in the first months of our marriage…convinced that we would experience only utter joy and satisfaction.  Maybe I was just that naïve.  Or maybe DG and I have just come up against something more difficult than we expected.  Whatever the case, the last three months have been consumed with some very challenging, private struggles.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I think the struggle has been productive.  I think we’ve navigated it very well, and our love and the depth of our commitment are literally strengthened by the day.  I can say without a doubt that I love DG more and have a greater appreciation for and understanding of him today than I did on May 1^st.   But that being said, it has been HARD.  We have encountered moments of complete desperation, difficult misunderstandings, and painful insecurity.  Often times I really have felt like we are “dancing in the minefield.”  And really, at present, there is no relief in sight.  No real promise of when things will get better and we’ll arrive at the resolution we’ve been praying for. 

But here’s what I know…I love him.  To the depth of my soul, I love him….and at its most basic form, that love is dangerous.  There are risks.  It means giving up myself.  Putting his needs, his dreams, his desires in front of my own.  It means being more invested in his happiness than even he is…than I am in my own.  It means saying the truth even when the truth is hard, when I can’t predict his response.  It means that I keep talking when I feel like shutting down and I keep listening when I’d rather say, “Enough already.”  Love is by no means safe.  Adventurous and exciting and worth it?  Absolutely.  But it is not safe.  He holds my heart, which means he has the power to absolutely obliterate me….but he has earned my trust.   And he has demonstrated his love time and time again. 

This road is not easy.  We are clumsy, but we are making it.  And I know we are growing closer and stronger and there will come a day when we will look back with gratitude and point to this time as the thing that built our foundation.  The Ever After is unknown, and I am confident that this is not the last season of life that will push us.  Still, there is only one person I would want to travel alongside in the uncertain and sometimes heartbreaking circumstances of this life.  It just so happens I’m lucky enough to be his wife.  For me, that knowledge is enough.

For you wives who are doing your best to love your husband rightly in the midst of less than perfect circumstances…for those of you who are engaged and looking forward to the reality of marriage….for the girls who have yet to meet the man they dream of….I encourage you to really pay attention to this song.  It’s a striking portrait of the way love works in real life, on the ground.  Take it to heart.

...happy birthday to me...

We interrupt your regularly scheduled wedding-related programming to talk about how utterly fabulous the people in my life are.  I mean, I’m not one to brag, but I have THE most amazing husband and family and friends one could hope for.  You wish you were me. I’ve spent all day feeling so very loved and appreciated!

It all started when DG woke rolled over first thing this morning to give me a big hug and his very best rendition of “Happty Birfday”.  It was compelling, to say the least.  At about 7:00 AM, my phone rang.  My baby brother, who is currently somewhere in Indiana called to sing Happy Birthday.  At about 7:10 AM, my best friend called to yell, “Happy Birthday!  I’ll email you shortly when I get to work!”  At about 7:15 AM, my other best friend called to sing yet another birthday song and to let me know that she had to explain to her two little ones that 6:00 AM in Toronto is 5:00 AM in Nashville, which is much too early to call Auntie Racheal and sing.  On my drive to work I got a tex mex (that’s what all the cool kids call text messaging J ) from both my sisters-in-law.  When I logged in to my email, I was met with a message from my Mimi back home explaining all about the card she’d bought that she finally put in the mail and on and on.  She’s cute.  My coworkers took me out to lunch and bought me cupcakes and a card AND! stood in a circle in the middle of all our cubicles in the office building to sing, yet again.  My sweet mother-in-law called to wish me happy birthday just a few minutes ago.  How many birthday wishes can one girl take?!  Seriously people.!

And most exciting of all…this is how much my dear husband loves me on my birthday!

And this was included as part an Apple promotion FOR FREE.  I am pretty hyped.

As I write this, it is currently  4:15 PM on August 11^th.  I know the well-wishing is not over, and I am already overwhelmed by the amount of love in my life.  Everywhere I look, I am met with people I love to my very core…who love me in return.  It is the greatest feeling in the world.  I am so grateful.  27 was a good year.  I fell even more deeply in love…got engaged…crafted the wedding of our dreams…and walked away married to the greatest man alive.  Who knows what 28 will hold?  A part of me hopes for a lot of things to dramatically change.  Another clings to hold on to what’s familiar and comfortable.  All I know is this, if these are the people I have to keep me company along the way, I’m going to be more than fine.

So yeah, Happy Birthday to me!

...our traditional wedding ceremony: part one...

I wouldn't be surprised if a few of our guests were a little taken back by the formailty of our wedding ceremony.  We worked closely with our dear friend, who officiated, to choose every last word carefully.  We included a lot of very traditional liturgical elements that were probably a little foreign to most of our family and not even very characteristic of the churches we grew up in.  Still, we wanted the focus of the entire ceremony to really capture the fact that we are a part of something bigger...that our love story is only a thread in the tapestry.  I think we communicated that beautifully.

Following the greeting, opening prayer, declaration of intent (Will you?...Will you?), and the declaration of consent (Her mother and I.), our minister said a few words to express our gratitude to our family and friends for their support and so on.  Then came my favorite part, as everyone was invited to stand, and all of the most meaningful people in our lives lifted their voices together to sing Great is Thy Faithfulness.  The sound was overwhelming, and I really can't put into words how that moment felt.  To be united with all our loved ones in that way was really incredible....and no matter how many times I've sung it in this lifetime, the lyrics to that hymn never fail to touch me at the deepest level.

We went on to recite The Apostles' Creed together followed by another prayer, a reading from Colossians 3:12-17 and our ministers breif little homily based on that text.

After the homily, DG and I read the "statements" we'd written for each other.  We wanted to be able to write something for the ceremony, but I still really loved the idea of saying traditional vows....knowing that my mom and dad said the same words to each other when they were married, and my grandparents before them.  So instead of writing vows, we inserted a little extra time to read what we'd written for eachother.  Here I'm explaining to DG that I'd always dreamed about the man I would meet and marry and how great he'd be and on and on.  And that the best part of that day was not so much that I'd found that man, or that he was even better than I had hoped....but that "he" is DG.  I said it a lot more eloquently at the time....but for the life of me, I have no idea what happened to that little piece of paper.  Otherwise, I'd put it here verbatim.

And this is when DG started to cry uncontrollably.  Bless him.  He started to say something like "Words can't describe the joy you've brought into my life,"  but he got stuck at joy....so it just came out "Words can't describe the...."  and then this face.

And this face.

Bless him.  So next we did the traditional exchange of vows and exchange of rings.  You know, for better or for worse, etc...

That was followed by my favorite prayer of the whole ceremony.  These words are just beautiful to me.

Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation, and giver of all grace: Look with favor upon the world you have made, and for which your Son gave his life, and especially upon Racheal and David.

Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. Amen.

Grant that their wills may be so knit together in your will, and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may grow in love and peace with you and with one another all the days of their life. Amen.

Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours. Amen.

Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love to this hurting and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, and forgiveness and healing conquer despair. Amen.

Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others. Amen.
Grant that all married persons who have witnessed these vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed. We ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Beautiful, no? Next was the lighting of the unity candle, during which the choir sang Set me as a Seal by Renee Clausen.

I think we'll leave off there before this post becomes eight pages long.  Part two to come!

...30 years...

Today marks 30 years of wedded bliss for my mom and dad.  They are many, many miles away, so I can’t really celebrate with them today…but I can pay tribute to the successful marriage that was modeled before me every day of my life.  There is no measuring the kind of impact their relationship has made on me and my ability to now experience that kind of relationship with my own husband.  Luckily, DG, my baby brother, and I were at home with them last weekend, so we had a tiny, impromptu celebration and bought a card, a cake, and some balloons.  I would have loved to do much more, as 30 years is definitely an accomplishment to celebrate, but living so far away makes it a little difficult. 

 

Today I am especially grateful for having had the privilege to grow up in such a loving home.  I really believe that the best thing husbands and wives can do for their children is to love each other well, and Mom and Dad have certainly done that.  Their journey has not been absent of a few bumps here and there, but their deep commitment to each other and to our family has brought them thus far.  I can honestly say that 30 years later, they are still very much in love.  And in a world riddled with dissension and division, I count myself blessed to have learned how to love DG from the way Mom and Dad have loved each other.  There is something to be said for staying the course and working at a relationship, communicating through the difficult situations, and ultimately growing closer through the conflict.  So often we give up when things become uncomfortable and take the easy way out, and for many couples, marriage is no different, but I have a lot of hope for my own marriage.  I learned from the best. J

Congrats, Mom and Dad!  I am so proud to know you as mine.  You are a shining example of what love looks like in the midst of this too often dark and lonely world.  I love you!

June 7, 1980

In  honor of Mom and Dad’s anniversary, I’ll briefly interrupt the chronology of our recaps to bring you evidence of the happy home they created. J

I know, I know.  I look just like her.  I take that as a compliment.

Our family...new addition and all!

(All photos courtesy of Will Knowles Weddings)

…reception-part four: the music…

Hope you're in for some reading!

Because we're still awaiting pictures from our photographer, the lovely (and affordable!) Will Knowles, I figured we'd just pick up where we left off…

Our plans for music at the reception had me very excited very early on in our planning process. If I had to pick, I'd say the thing I loved most about our wedding is that it was so "us". Through and through, every detail we incorporated told the story of DG and me. Some of those personal details were obvious to everyone. Some were known only to the two of us, like they were just our little secret….which I loved. Our set list was no exception.

When DG and I gave up on finding any affordable outdoor reception venue in Nashville, our vision became this fusion of the chic party I had always hoped for and a more relaxed family picnic sort of atmosphere. (We magically pulled this off beautifully and I can't wait to show you!) So anyway, part of the picture I'd always had in my mind (long before DG was involved in any of this) was this amazing live band. Luckily, as involved as DG and I were in the musical endeavors of our Alma Matter, many of our friends are insanely talented musicians. I'd played/sung with many of them during my time in school. DG often traveled with them. They are all amazing and close friends, so we naturally started asking for favors and put together a band of guys and gals who could rival ANY professional wedding band you might possibly hope to find. We organized it all and held rehearsals in the weeks leading up to the wedding, and I could barely contain my excitement of the quality of these people. Seriously, I cannot say enough good things about these guys.

We also had a little something up our sleeves regarding the selection of said music. Back in the day, when DG and I had first officially started dating, we were 450-some miles apart from each other, thus we had to get creative about the ways we connected. In his brilliance, DG decided to concentrate on one medium in particular. Knowing that, as a musician and songwriter, music is a very big part of my life and even of who I am, he chose to send me a song via email for (most) every day that we were apart. Here's how the first in a long series of emails went…


So I thought I would be clever and try and get into a habit of sending you an email, potentially every day that would share something with you. It may be deep and meaningful, or it may be completely ridiculous. The format is still up for grabs, so if you have any commentary you would like to pass on, feel free to do so.I thought I would send you a song every day. I know how much music plays a part in your life and how musically gifted you are. Me, on the other hand, not so much, but I do have an affinity for music, and in order to help grow this relationship (and broaden your horizons), I am going to send you a song every day. I think you can communicate so much through music. It is a medium that has so much untapped potential. You are so incredibly talented, and I am so blessed to have you in my life that I want to find a way to share in that experience. Well that, and you need to have a little bit of an education when it comes to things like classic rock.

He went on to detail a VH1-special kind of background on the song for that day, which became his go-to format. I loved it. For the first four months of our relationship, the best part of my day was sitting down to read those emails. Of course, in true DG-fashion, there was a theme for each day of the week, and each email contained a collection of his thoughts about that song and what he wanted it to say to me, along with the useless, cleverly-written trivia about the artist and the recording. (I know. People wish they were me.)
When it came to developing the set list for our reception, using DG's list of songs was the obvious choice. So we picked out the most meaningful of those songs and found sheet music for them all. Someday soon, we should have the live recording of the reception, which I think will be a really cool keepsake, but I thought I'd at least share what they played. Enjoy!

First Dance: Only You Can Love Me This Way – Keith Urban
I guess this song is the one exception to the rule. DG had heard it when the record first came out and played it for me. He'd already determined he wanted our first dance to be to this song. It definitely articulates how we feel about each other. It wasn't long after that conversation that he had cued this song to play when we got into the car for the drive from the restaurant back to my parents house the night he proposed to me.

I Don't Need No Doctor—as covered by John Mayer (originally recorded by Ray Charles)
Here's what DG had to say about this song on February 13, 2009:
Throughout the years, seven other bands have covered this song before JM got to it and laid his blend of funk and soul on it. It has some pretty sweet guitar licks on it and has some really good lyrics that explain just how I feel right now. I cannot wait to see you in a week! There is something about seeing you that keeps me going, even in these times when I am so busy and so tired. So, without hesitation, the 1966 hit “I Don’t Need No Doctor,” as covered by the man himself.

For Once in My Life—Stevie Wonder
Here's what DG had to say about this song on January 31, 2009:
The artist, someone you and I have had the privilege of seeing in concert, Mr. Stevie Wonder. The song, the 1968 hit "For once in my life." I hope you truly can grasp just how much you mean to me in my life.

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic—The Police
Here's what DG had to say about this song on February 7, 2009:
The group is "The Police," the song is "Every little thing she does is magic," off of their fourth album "Ghost in the machine," released in 1981. The lyrics are really great, and when I was thinking of what I was trying to say today, this just fit.

To Be With You—Mr. Big
Here's what DG had to say about this song on February 23, 2009:
So the premise of the song is basically one that I thought for a long time. Perhaps it was before your situation changed and you came back around. Perhaps it was when our friendship was flourishing while you may have been in another relationship. There would be many nights when I would leave you and this song would come into my head. Off the 1992 album "Lean Into It," from the 90's hard rock band Mr. Big, comes today's chart topping single, "To Be With You." The lyrics are catchy, and pretty much sums up how I felt then, and the things I am glad for now. "I'm the one who wants to be with you, deep inside I hope you feel it too."

Better Together—Jack Johnson
Here's what DG had to say about this song on February 6, 2009:
There is nothing greater than beginning and ending my day with you. It just seems right that you are the first voice I hear in the morning and the last one I hear at night. It really is special. I love that this medium helps to bring us closer together. It is a really special part of my day when I get to sit down and write this to you. Here is to putting another day behind us and getting closer to another day when we can be together.

Can't Stop This Thing We Started—Bryan Adams
Here's what DG had to say about this song on March 9, 2009:
I am so excited that I get to see you tomorrow. I cannot imagine if we would have had to wait all of this time to see each other since we were last together in Springfield. I am not sure if I would have made it or not. Being around all of this wedding stuff over the past few weeks just makes me excited for our future together. Off of the 1991 release "Waking up the Neighbours" from Canadian born Bryan Adams comes today's selection, "Can't Stop this thing We Started." The lyrics are pretty catchy and who could really argue with Bryan Adams? After all, he did release "Summer of 69."

Higher Love—Steve Winwood featuring Chaka Kahn
Here's what DG had to say about this song on February 26, 2009:
This song won two Grammy Awards, for Record of the Year and Male Vocal Performance of the Year. An interesting side note, the female vocals on today's track were done by none other than Chaka Khan. Off of the 1986 album "Back in the High Life," by Steve Winwood, comes today's selection, "Higher Love." I hope you like this one, he is really goo,d and this is one of my personal favorites from the mid-80's. Please know that every day I fall more and more in love with you. Each new day brings a new challenge, another obstacle to overcome. Today, the distance between us seems almost impossible to overcome, but love can overcome that, even to the farthest ends of the earth. From the heart of Nashville comes my love to you. Hurry back soon. It won't be but a few more days until we will be together again, and I can wrap my arms around you.

Hey Leonardo—Blessid Union of Souls
This was the song that accompanied that first email above on January 26, 2009.

Somebody Like You—Keith Urban
Here's what DG had to say about this song on January 27, 2009:
Each day that passes by makes me more and more grateful that you are in my life. You understand me, where I am at, and what I am going through. I love the fact that I can be completely honest with you and you still accept me despite all of my insecurities and shortcomings.  I have had the privilege of working with this artist on several occasions and am looking forward to his fifth studio album coming out in March. For your listening pleasure…Off the 2002 album titled "Golden Road", Keith Urban, "Somebody Like You."

Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop—Landon Pigg
Here's what DG had to say about this song on May 20, 2009:
Today's song originally appeared in a commercial for "a diamond is forever" before being featured in the AT&T spots. This young man is a singer, songwriter from Nashville, TN. Tonight's song is one titled "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop." It is the one that you have become quite familiar with in that jingle. The funny thing about this song is that it really speaks volumes about our relationship. It was in that coffee shop that I fell in love with you for the first time. I knew then and there that we would be together. I wanted so badly in November to tell you how I felt. I wanted to confess my feelings and let you know, but the timing was not right. So here we are now, together at last. I will always have memories of that coffee shop, and every time we have coffee together, it is a reminder of the love that we share. I cannot wait until you are mine forever. I love you! More and more every day, even when you are tired and cranky, and we are procrastinating finishing getting ready to move your stuff in. Come downstairs, I am making coffee!

Last Dance: I Could Not Ask For More—Edwin McCain
Here's what DG had to say about this song on February 13, 2009:
The music, on a Friday. I won't lie, I completely ran across this song by accident. But you know how I am, and since I am clairvoyant, I figured that it was merely fate or destiny or some other force outside of my control that brought me to this particular song. I love this song. From the 1999 album "Messenger" comes today's song by Edwin McCain, titled "I Could Not Ask For More." It pretty much sums up everything that I could ever say about you in a very neat and nicely packaged 4 minutes 36 seconds. I know you of all people can appreciate the lyrics to this song. I love you! Happy Valentine's Day, just a little early!

Don't you just love him??? I know I do.

...fail proof...

I woke up Saturday morning around 7:00 AM because my body just wouldn’t let me sleep any longer than that. Never mind the fact that I’d been on my feet for two 15-hour days of wedding set-up. Never mind the fact that I’d only been asleep for a handful of hours. I was awake. All my girls were there at the hotel with me, and they were still faking sleep, so I turned on the light in the bathroom and cracked the door, made a cup of coffee, and sat down to write what I would say to DG in the ceremony that afternoon. It wasn’t more than half an hour before all the girls were awake and we just sort of leisurely sat in our PJ’s in the dimly-lit room trying to mentally prepare for the day ahead. Only a few minutes passed before my MOH’s husband showed up with fruit and bagels and cream cheese and GOOD coffee. (He was a God-send that day!) Once we had some breakfast in our bellies, we drew the curtains back to reveal the rain…the very heavy rain. I knew it was coming, so by that time, I had just accepted it. Our church was beautiful and there were tons of cool little nooks and crannies to take pictures in, so not much was lost. We turned on the weather and my MOH said, “Let’s just look at it this way: There’s a 20% chance of no rain!” Whatever. I wasn’t worried about it anymore. It wasn’t like we were trying to get married outside.

We proceeded to plug in the iPod and sing along to a bunch of ridiculous pop tunes while we were getting ready. We had four hours before we had to leave, so we were able to have fun and take our time. It was wonderful. There was hair and make-up flying everywhere. Licks being sung into curling irons and hairbrushes. People running around in their underwear. It was like the best slumber party ever….only at 8:00 AM. I plopped down in front of the window armed with my little mirror and my giant case of cosmetics to do my own makeup while all the others were taking turns in the shower. Occasionally, someone would ask for my opinion on this eyeliner or that bobby pin or whatever. I moved on to finish my hair and then curled and styled my mom’s and DG’s older sister’s hair. People said I was crazy for wanting to do things myself, much less for offering to help with my bridesmaids, but I had fun and it was good for me to have something to do.

We were only a few minutes behind leaving for the church. I ended up in the Yukon with my mom and dad and brother, two bridesmaids, a flower girl, and a dear friend. We somehow found ourselves bursting into song. “Going to the chapel and we’re…” We were feeling a little silly, so we started out singing really badly and out of tune, but somehow by the end of the chorus we had accidentally started singing in three party harmony. It happens. We singers can’t help it. Anyway, our trip to the church was really the first time we noticed the severity of the weather. We were on the interstate trying to make our way downtown and got stuck behind a pretty nasty wreck. My navigational-mastermind of a MOH directed my dad off the interstate and through the streets of downtown Nashville to our church. I’m pretty sure we made it there about five minutes after we’d planned, so I was feeling good. The rain was annoying, but we had big golf umbrellas and everything was fine.

Before I got dressed, I did a few minutes of final touch-up in the sanctuary to clean everything up. I think I even made some comment about how the lighting in the church looked even cooler because it was so gray outside. The silver lining, I guess. Our photographer friend had scouted out some pretty cool places within the church to take photos, so after I was in my dress, I was obliviously having my picture taken while the chaos was going on. My friend who’d coordinated all the musicians for the ceremony and was singing a solo himself had called to leave a panicked voicemail about how his car had flooded and he couldn’t get out of his neighborhood and he didn’t know what to do. Luckily, I had not answered my phone. My MOH got in touch with him and took care of it, I think. I think he ended up borrowing a neighbor’s SUV or something to get through the water. Another friend who was acting as our day-of coordinator for the ceremony called later to say they’d been trying to get to the church for almost two hours and weren’t sure they were going to make it in time. We found a quick replacement and pressed on to start the ceremony on time.

I knew things were bad when guests were still arriving just as I was about to walk down the aisle. There were obviously a number of people who didn’t make it at all. Once we got started the ceremony went off without a hitch. It was exactly what I’d hoped it would be and so much more…and gratefully, I felt really present and awake for all of it. I’ll write more about all that later on. There are a lot of things we did in the ceremony that most people don’t do, and all of them were REALLY meaningful to me. Anyway, once we arrived at the reception and saw how many of our guests were unable to come, we were a little disappointed. By that time, we’d learned about the flooding and the interstates being shut down. Don’t get me wrong, the reception was still wonderful….but there was this sort of scary, melancholy tone to it…simply because our guests had gone through a lot to be there at all. I still had a lot of fun, but the room felt pretty empty. We started making the rounds to talk to our guests and realized there were so many who had to turn around and go back home. One friend who lost their car. Others who had tried five or six routes before getting through. And everyone knew it was getting worse, and that getting home would be a challenge for most of them. About two hours later DG and I were headed out the door.

The next morning, our 8:00 AM flight was delayed a few hours due to more storms. We finally made it out of Nashville around 11:30 AM, and arrived at our resort in Mexico only a few hours later than we’d planned. Not a huge deal. We were still in shock that all of this had happened on our wedding day, but it wasn’t until Wednesday when we checked our email that we realized just how devastating the weather had been for our city. We opened an email from a friend to discover the following images…

(Source)

How? HOW did this happen on our wedding day? CRAZINESS! It was just insane. After having been back from our honeymoon for the better part of a week, we are still hearing stories of the absolute nonsense our friends and family went through trying to be at our wedding. I secretly wonder if I’m partly to blame. Back in February when DG and I tattooed our wedding date on our arms in roman numerals…I was slightly nervous that some natural disaster might come along and stop our wedding from happening. I even remember saying, “What happens if there’s a tornado, or a hurricane, or an earthquake, or a flood or something?!? We HAVE to get married on May 1^st now.” DG assured me that nothing was going to stop us from getting married that day….no matter what. And obviously, it didn’t. We are married….but IT SURE TRIED.

How?!?

People say rain on your wedding day is a sign of good luck. I usually don’t put any stock in adages like that, but if there’s any truth to that at all, I’m pretty sure the Great Flood of 2010 has ensured that our marriage is FAIL. PROOF. We are going to be married forever.

Note: DG and I and our families and close friends were fortunate enough to survive this crazy disaster without any real damage to our homes. I am immensely grateful and hope that you fellow Nashvillians were kept safe through the flood! Let’s get our hands dirty helping those who were not so lucky.

…something to live up to…

I know this post is way, WAY overdue. So overdue, in fact, that I've toyed with the idea of shutting the blog down all together. For a long time, I didn't feel like writing…mostly because I knew this post needed to be written before I talked about anything else. It just seems right. At first I didn't know what I'd say, and once I did, I wasn't sure I could muster the strength to say it. Nevertheless, I suppose it's time.

It was the morning of Thanksgiving. Mom and Dad and my baby brother had driven to Nashville to spend the holiday with DG and his family and me. We had a weekend jam-packed with festivities planned for them. I was excited. It had been a mere six hours since they'd arrived, and we were up with the sun to run in a 5k race benefitting Habitat for Humanity. Part of our evil plot to improve the overall health of our families and get in shape for the wedding. We were just about to walk out the door when Dad's pocket started singing. Always his goofy self, Dad started dancing to the music and announced that someone's phone was ringing. Somehow, the man still cannot recognize the sound of his own cell phone. Oh Dad. When we informed him that the sound was coming from his pants, he quickly answered his phone.

We watched as panic fell over his face. In an instant the light-hearted air vanished. He just kept repeating, "Oh no. Oh my. Oh no." When he hung up, he told us it was his younger brother calling. Grandma had just passed away. We sat at the kitchen table as the news sank in. A few minutes later, my uncle called again with news that the paramedics had managed to get her heart started again, but she'd been without oxygen for a really long time. They were taking her to the ER, but things did not look good.

Mom and Dad scrambled to pack up all the things they'd unloaded only six hours earlier to head back home. DG pulled me aside to see if I wanted to go with them. I said yes. We'd figure out the rest later on. As soon as we had our things together, we were on the road headed back home. Over the course of that eight hour trip, there was a wealth of emotion. I couldn't even begin to explain the way we all felt that day. There were a lot of back-and-forth conversations about taking her off the respirator and when was the right time to do it. Grandpa had made the decision to disconnect her, and Dad encouraged him to go ahead, rather than drawing it out waiting on us to get there. The doctors said she'd be unable to breathe on her own and that she'd be gone in three to five minutes. By the time we arrived at her room in the ICU, she'd been breathing on her own for hours. Everyone said she'd been waiting for us to come home. I stayed for a while…watched her lying there unconscious, gasping and convulsing from the muscle spasms. She was already gone, and we knew it was only a matter of time.

Grandma waited until everyone was sleeping peacefully in the night before she died. Dad had stayed with her, so we got the phone call shortly after she'd finally stopped breathing. My family banded together in support of Grandpa and each other in a way that one could only hope to witness…much less feel. It was no surprise to me. I am blessed to call them mine. So much of who she was is infused in each of us. We did right by her in taking care of each other. It was hard to say goodbye, even harder to watch Grandpa suffer the pain of putting his life-long love to rest, but there was still lots to be grateful for….especially my incredible fiancé. DG came to be with me a day later and found a way to stay through the whole ordeal. I was hard on him at first, but he was amazing and patient as usual. I don't even want to think about what that week would have been like without him. I was completely overcome by the ways we found ourselves growing closer through the experience.

Come April, Grandma and Grandpa would have been married 62 years. To the day she died, they loved each other faithfully and completely. It was fascinating to watch how their love changed as they grew older and began having to take care of each other in a more tangible sort of way. They were still holding hands in their eighties. That always made an impression on me. I loved it. There is a lot to learn from their relationship and it is not hard to find the mark that she left on my life. It seems that words don't really do her justice, but I did have the privilege of writing and singing a song for her funeral. Even now, I miss her. She was full of life, and the absence of that spark is deeply felt. Here's what I had to say when it was fresh…

I always felt like Grandma and I had a special connection. Then again, I’m pretty sure most every one of us would say the same. I practically grew up in her living room. Up until I was old enough to drive, she and Grandpa carted me back and forth from school each day. I never grew tired of spending time at their house because Grandma and I never ran out of interesting things to talk about. She was funny and vibrant and full of life. It seems like she was always teaching me something. Her impact on the people we’ve all become is immeasurable, and it would be impossible to summarize all of the lessons I’ve learned from her. She was always imparting her words of wisdom, usually in the form of some clever little saying…and they stuck with me.

One particular summer, Grandma and Grandpa joined us on our family vacation to the booming metropolis of Branson, Missouri. Convinced I was already a teenager at the age of twelve, I was less than thrilled about our destination. Grandma called me “twelve-teen” for that entire year. It sounds about as ridiculous as I acted. Somehow she had more patience with me than anyone else. I spent most of our vacation complaining. Groaning about the plans we’d made or whining when we didn’t choose the restaurant I wanted. Mom and Dad were irritated with my bad attitude, as any parent would be, but Grandma would just put her arm around me, lean in and quietly say, “When in Rome, we do what the Romans do.” She was trying to keep me out of trouble. I must have heard that phrase ten times a day during that week. Every time I’d roll my eyes, she’d give me that knowing glance and remind me, “When in Rome.” Each time I’d begin to spread my misery…”When in Rome.” It seemed silly to me at the time, but I learned a vital lesson from her about accommodating the people you love. If nothing else, she was accommodating. Always serving her family. Always making sure they were taken care of and had plenty to eat. She spent a life time nurturing the people she loved. I was privileged enough to learn that lesson from her.

Her absence will leave a huge void in the life of our family, but her life continues in the way she taught us how to love each other. As I grow into a wife, and someday a mother, I know that I will often go back to those conversations we shared. Her cute little sayings will repeat in my mind, and I know that I am more because of the way she touched me. We all are. My only hope is that I can live up to her legacy…to do right by her…love the people around me in a way that is true to what she taught…and live a life she would be proud of.

WHEN IN ROME

Her words of wisdom echo in my mind
She shakes her head confesses, “such is life.”
Knowing the road is hard with many winding turns
Yet knowing that love survives in the lessons we learn

Molding us, Shaping us
Into who we’d become
We’re forever changed by her way
Of loving us
Now that you’re going home
We’ll remember what you spoke
And I hope I make you proud
When in Rome

No words to describe what you’ve done
Your imprint on the lives of each one
You taught us to hold heads high when we don’t know what to do
And trust in the Savior’s hand to safely carry us through

Molding us, Shaping us
Into who we’d become
We’re forever changed by her way
Of loving us
Now that you’re going home
We’ll remember what you spoke
And I hope I make you proud

As we sing, All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me

She was molding us, Shaping us
Into who we’d become
We’re forever changed by her way
Of loving us
Now that you’re going home
We’ll remember what you spoke
And I hope I make you proud
Yes, I hope I make you proud
When in Rome